Crying.....

Just got this email from RJ:

We just got back from the hospital (Dr. Bitanga in tow), finishing our morning visit to the ICU and our meeting with the neurologist that operated on mom. Again, the following is just my understanding of the situation and I will clarify statements made here as soon as I know more.

The good news is that mom might be able to leave by Thursday or Friday this week. He said that they just need to remove the two tubes that were used for the antibiotic wash and that they would remove one per day, starting tonight or tomorrow morning. She would then be under observation during that period (still in the ICU), to monitor her recovery. They've been concerned about her breathing being erratic/unstable so they'll be watching that closely - she'll be on a plane for 3 and a half hours, after all. But it looks like she'll be able to go home.

The bad news is that upon studying the new CT scans and MRI's, Dr. Bitanga said that the tumor on the left side had grown more than 3 times its size since mom's last MRI in the US (in November, I think), and that it had also spread to the back part of her brain - which affected her personality, memory, motor skills, and attention span. It was this tumor (on the left part of her brain) that caused the changes that many of us saw in mom's personality - to the point where she wasn't really herself anymore. This is also the kind of tumor that the doctors can't operate on, due to the high risk of paralysis - so surgery upon arrival in Manila is not likely. Radiation therapy is also out of the question (unless she starts recovering faster than the tumor is growing) because of the location of the tumor. If radiation is applied to the affected area, more damage could be done than good. Chemotherapy is also not an option, according to Dr. Bitanga, because of the size and state of the tumor.

Dr. Bitanga's prognosis, upon studying the facts gathered here in Korea, is that mom has 3-4 months left.

What we need now, what we all need to pray for, is another miracle. Dr. Bitanga says he hopes that he's wrong again - he gave a similar prognosis the first time mom was diagnosed with cancer. She had 4-6 months the last time - and that was 2003.

It's been FOUR YEARS.

Mom has persevered before, and we all know that she can do it again.

I'll have more once we have new information.

Please continue praying for her.

I have ambivalent feelings now. Mad. Sad. Sad. Mad. Sad, that there really isn't anything else we can do about Tita San's situation. Mad about the exact same thing. Nothing we can do except PRAY and hope for another MIRACLE.

In 2003, the doctors gave Tita San 4-6 months to live. And she's beaten all the odds and lived 4 years from that point. Now, the doctors are giving her 3-4 months. We NEED another miracle. Tita San is only 5o years old. 50!!! That's waaaay too young for someone so vital, so ALIVE as Tita San. The cancer has eaten away at her brain, and has affected her personality the past few months. It is sad to see someone like Tita San erode the way she has.

I'm probably using all the wrong adjectives, but I'm typing as I'm feeling here. With tears in my eyes. The family has banded together even more and have offered even more prayers for Tita San. She is a huge favorite among all of us. Some of us won't admit it, but it doesn't have to be said. It can be FELT.

Bang will be writing a prayer for the whole family to pray. If we all say it together, the same prayer, maybe, just maybe, it'll be a little bit stronger and will reach Him up Above faster. I know He knows what we feel and what we want. But only He knows what the future holds. But there's always HOPE. And that's what's going to keep our entire family praying with all our hearts, all our minds, all our beings. For Tita San.

Roby said to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. The heart is hoping, the mind is preparing. There's that roller coaster ride again.

Please say a little ---okay, a HUGE--- prayer for Tita San when you read this. She knows we are rooting for her.